Are all Trad Wives White, Christian, and Conservative?

For some time now, I’ve felt a stirring in my heart to share something incredibly personal with you. It hasn’t been easy to find the words and I’ve procrastinated over it for such a long time, because we live in a world where labels and opinions can feel heavy - some labels are celebrated, while others are shunned. It’s a world where so often people are divided by what they believe instead of united by what they share in common.

Recently, the world has felt really heavy. We are living in a deeply divided era. Between seismic events like the release of the Epstein files, the outbreak of new wars, and the volatile political landscape - compounded by a global cost-of-living crisis - life is hitting us all harder than ever.

Regardless of your faith, values, or politics, I’m sure we can agree that it’s messy and it’s ugly out there right now.

Things haven’t really changed all that much culturally - at least not in a positive, healthy, or progressive way, it’s actually gotten worse. We’re certainly not living in the world we millennials seemed to be fighting for, and I feel a little cheated that ‘this’ is our adulthood experience. The loving, peaceful, and accepting society we were promised as children simply hasn’t come to fruition.

I know I personally grieve for the adulthood I had hoped for. (It makes me wonder if this is why our generation are so nostalgic for the 90s right now?!)

Moreover, the ‘people-pleasing’ operating system our millennial and Gen X generations have largely been afflicted with has done us no favours. After much prayer and reflection, I’ve come to see that honesty, spoken in love, is always the best path forward. It’s time to update the software, guys!

Being a Trad Wife isn’t a political act for one singular party, it’s in resistance to modern culture

For such a long time, in my life and advocacy online, I have been uncomfortably straddled in a political no-man’s land because I have wanted to reflect the life experiences of all traditional housewives, regardless of their political and religious beliefs. However these times have stirred in me an uncomfortable truth that maybe I’ve actually been hiding out of fear, and labelling myself as “non-partisan” because I, Alena Kate Pettitt, am a self-confessed people-pleaser!

I’ve held myself back from being honest because it would play right into the hands of those who choose to criticise me, and the ‘Tradwife’ movement.

Myself, and many of the other “original” traditional housewife influencers do look a certain way... that’s plain.

If you have read Ladies Like Us, then this statement will be no surprise to you, but for those that haven’t, here it is: I am a Christian, and I am also a Conservative. But before you close this window and never stop by again, I want to share my heart in a raw and honest way with you and express why you shouldn’t go... because leaving based on how I define myself is playing right into the hands of who wants to keep us divided.

I’m sure we’re big enough to know that life isn’t just about labels. Not even #TradWife... Life is too nuanced to distil things down to something so defining.

Not all Trad Wives are ’alt-right’ or even religious

Calling myself a Trad Wife, Housewife, Wife, Mother, Author, Blogger, Christian, and Conservative are not just titles and identities I align with, they are living truths and values that shape the way I see life and how I show up in it. My faith in Jesus Christ is the anchor of my soul. It is what gives me peace in uncertain times, what fuels my joy, and is what compels me to love others, even when we disagree. My conservative convictions flow naturally from that faith, shaping how I view family, community, tradition, and the moral and social responsibility we carry toward one another.

Journalists have always tried to label me as alt-right, but just because I may sit on the right side of the fence does not mean I am extreme in my views. True followers of Jesus are not called to hate, or vilify. They do not close doors to people who believe differently from them. Far from it, in fact. That door should be kept WIDE open, as should ears, and hearts.

I am deeply sorry to those reading who have sadly had the opposite experience in their lifetime, I know that pain firsthand myself!

True Christian views and values do not align with extremism, nor do they condone hatred or violence. Our rule book, in fact, explicitly forbids it! It upsets me to my core that what is done in the name of ‘religion’ hurts so many people, but we are now seeing just as much liberal violence play out on the world stage, too.

So... are all Trad Wives Christian Conservatives?

In my experience advocating for women just like me, the answer is a big fat NO! I have had a beautiful meeting of minds with women the world over who identify with different faiths, and those with none.

Are the majority of Trad Wife “influencers” Christian? That’s likely, because we women in the west who live this way have access to smart phones, the ability to blog, or vlog, and above all the freedom to express ourselves. We have the autonomy to share what brings us joy, the luxury to do so. We also want to, because our culture has taught us that we can be anyone we want, and to do what makes us happy.

The Bible and the Church honour women. In fact, Scripture inspires men to cherish them and recognise that we are created with distinct, complementary roles. There is a profound peace in being valued as a woman according to Biblical principles, rather than being forced to operate in a “masculine” energy just to survive in a secular world.

This makes us happy, and content women naturally want to share this way of life, and there is nothing inherently political about that. It is simply common sense to recognise that women have unique needs and a different nature. Can we work outside the home if we choose? Of course. However, there are biological realities inherent to our design that distinguish us from men.

This truth about gender has been obscured in recent decades. Many women have been pressured to deny their own nature, and what they need to thrive. That isn’t progress, and it certainly isn’t “pro-woman.”

I also want to share a disclaimer with you that; there is no monstrous, patriarchal, dystopian “Handmaid’s Tale” style organisation expecting us to share our lives, to indoctrinate you, or coerce you into this lifestyle. Most of our husbands don’t really care for our blogging or influencing, they’re simply supportive of what we share because it makes us happy.

Christianity, and the “Trad Wife Life” framed by its values, proffers nothing more than a warm and open invitation. There is no strong-arming here.

Don’t forget, too, that the women the media chooses to platform are mostly blonde, white, and Christian. It fits the narrative perfectly! But for every woman who fits that mold, there are SO MANY MORE OF YOU that I know resonate with this movement, even if your faith, your politics, or your appearance don’t ‘fit’ the trend. This has frustrated me so much: the TradWife movement becoming more about an aesthetic than keeping to its core values and looking deeper.

Social media, and the media at large, have either dumbed it down or torn it apart, seeking to weaponise faith and politics by pitting them against feminism. By any means possible, “make it dangerous”.

I have also referred journalists countless times to friends in this community who don’t look like the “poster girls”, and they almost never reach out to them. Or if they do, their opinions never make it into the articles... Why is that??

So, while it may appear that Trad Wives are all white, and Christian, and potentially “on the right”, it is simply a symptom of the world, and the media culture we live in. The enemy of peace wants us divided. That’s what you’ve witnessed, and many have come to believe - but you don’t see every woman that sits on this beautiful spectrum. No, we are not all Christian, Conservative, and of white European descent.

What makes me facepalm is when it is implied that all women who enjoy living by a sense of tradition and leaning into motherhood, homemaking, and femininity only look a specific way or go to church. It is beyond stupid. The math ain’t mathing...

Those trying to shut us down and saying this movement is dangerous solely because of how those of us with a little bit of influence look or “identify” are simply parroting the playbook of those that they believe they are fighting against - the prejudiced!

The Golden Rule is the Trad Wife’s ultimate value

I realise that for some of you reading this, my words may spark questions, discomfort, or even disagreement. And that’s alright. You are welcome here, always. One of the greatest joys of writing and sharing my life in this little corner of the internet has been the way it has brought together women from all walks of life - homemakers, and career women who also love homemaking, mothers and daughters, those of faith, and those still searching, and those who choose not.

The conversations and connections I’ve made with so many of you have been a blessing beyond measure. If the world right now proves anything, it’s that we have to keep these conversations going - not shut each other up, or shut them out!

Please know that in sharing this, I am not drawing a line in the sand. I am not shutting doors or shutting out voices. Quite the opposite! My prayer is that by being honest about who I am, you might feel encouraged to be honest about who you are too, and that we can continue to meet in a spirit of mutual respect.

The world is already full of sharp words and bitter debates. It is already full of hatred, vitriol, and violence. I have no desire to add to that noise in a way that makes you uncomfortable. I would much rather this space be a place where kindness wins, where gentleness is practiced, and where we remember that being different doesn’t mean being divided. What unites us is far greater than what separates us: the desire to love our families well, to create homes filled with peace, to leave the world a little softer and brighter than we found it.

What unites us is far greater than what separates us: the desire to love our families well, to create homes filled with peace, to leave the world a little softer and brighter than we found it.

We have to learn to see people beyond a label, beyond skin, beyond blue or red, beyond flesh and blood, even.

If you find yourself on the opposite end of the political spectrum, or if you practice a different faith (or none at all), I hope you still feel at home here. My aim has never been to preach politics, but to share a way of life - one rooted in simplicity, in gratitude, in faith (for something better), and in love.

I don’t expect agreement from everyone, but I do pray for understanding. I hope that my words, my work, and my life point not to division, but to grace. And above all, I want this to remain a space where you feel encouraged, uplifted, and seen.

So thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for walking with me. Thank you for reading, for writing to me, and for sharing pieces of your own story. Even when our steps don’t always fall in the same rhythm, it is a gift to walk this path together.

To those that criticise this movement for having white supremacy leanings, I do think you need to address your own bias, and perhaps lack of media literacy. The insidious underbelly of the world will attach itself to anything that is good and well meaning. Be better than the headline.

Remember, too, that while the imagery of the typical TradWife influencer aesthetic leans toward the 1950s or white Western culture, that is simply because it was a product of its time; an era of mass advertising where “Femininity and the Home” were celebrated and idealised. It is a product of its time now, too.

However, the truth remains that well-kept homes, well-loved families, and places of worship have existed the world over - then and now. They are attended by White, Black, Asian, and Hispanic women, as well as women who risk their lives and freedoms under communist rule to express their faith. The Gospel has spread far and wide! Yet, we are not all free to share the Good News, nor do we all live in cultures that can afford for women to stay home.

Don’t forget too, where Christianity actually started! It has nothing to do with your ethnicity, and everything to do with personal conviction. Just as loving your family and choosing what’s best for your family lifestyle has nothing to do with faith either.

I cannot express enough how melanin has nothing to do with living this way, and neither really does politics. We TradWives are not divided, we are united. We see ourselves, and each other as according to the Golden Rule, and for those of us where relevant - how God sees us - and he sees right into the heart.

Being a Trad Wife is not surface level. It is not superficial, and it never looks just one way.

It is only the way we are portrayed in the media that seeks to create division.

If you are of the belief that a woman’s faith, political leanings, and skin tone should keep her from fighting alongside her sister, then I think you need to take a good hard look in the mirror.

As much as I have my own labels, I will always fight for your right to define those of your own choosing.

With love always,