Bringing back the romance: How to keep love alive after 'I Do'

Do you want a love that’s old-fashioned enough to last forever, but modern enough to survive the times? In a world where the romance of marriage is so often overshadowed by the daily grind of paying bills, raising children, and simply keeping up, it’s easy to forget the tender, intentional love that once brought two people together. Many women, and their men, are quietly longing for something deeper than what modern culture promotes as ’marital togetherness’ today - something more enduring.

The values that shaped relationships in the last century, particularly the midcentury - like intentionality, commitment, and a deep sense of honour between husband and wife might seem outdated to some, but they hold a timeless wisdom I personally think we shouldn’t be so quick to dismiss. That era wasn’t perfect, but it did get a few things right when it came to building a strong foundation for love. What if we looked back, not to live in the past, but to borrow the best of it?

If you are looking for an old-fashioned romance, then there is one core value you need to establish in your marriage in order to achieve this, and it’s simpler than you think…

You must continue to date your spouse if you want a happy marriage!

It’s no secret that I have a fascination with life domestic life and certain aspects of society’s values in the 1950s and early 1960s. For me it goes deeper than a love of the movies, music, and fashions - I love how they promoted life at home, but most of all, love and romance!

I’m an avid collector of books and magazines from that time period, so I’m not just basing my thoughts on whimsy or hearsay. I’m reading and absorbing the exact media women would have been exposed to back in the day, and you know what? I prefer it!

There’s something so charming about the illustrations that you used to see in vintage magazines: a woman in a swing dress and her husband in a pressed shirt, perhaps sharing a milkshake at a diner or dancing cheek-to-cheek in the kitchen. Advertisers in the 1950s and 1960s knew what they were doing… they weren’t just selling product, they were sharing a feeling, and more importantly, an aspiration.

I’m all too aware there is a lot of criticism out there for those of us who tend to “romanticise” a time in which we never experienced, bedecked in our rose-tinted glasses - but I think it’s actually rather important when we view this through a lens of romance, dating, and marriage.

It’s funny how the last midcentury is berated for how women were treated, yet it’s thoroughly acceptable to want Mr Darcy to sweep us off our feet, don’t you think? What makes one time period better than another. In Austen’s time, women had it far worse than in Audrey, Grace, and Marilyn’s. But I digress, back to my point…

Keeping romance alive in your marriage should be a priority

What I love about these old adverts and movies is that rightly or wrongly, they set the tone for a generation, and I think that’s something we are all sorely missing today. As “made up” as fiction and advertising from this time may be, they still all leant on and promoted the spirit of intentional togetherness. They glamorised marriage, dating, and romance in a way that we rarely see today.

It’s not wrong to romanticise the 1950s if that era’s values speak to your heart. For many, the simplicity, clear roles, and tender courtship of that time offer a refreshing contrast to today’s fast-paced, disconnected world.

Drawing inspiration from the way couples once prioritised time together, manners, and mutual respect can breathe warmth and intention into modern marriages.

I’ve learned that these old-fashioned ideals have helped my husband and I love each other deeply and live more meaningfully, and there’s no harm in holding onto them.

One of these values is continuing to date, and it’s not optional. It’s how we stay close.

Today, with calendars packed and phones always buzzing, it’s easy for romance to get lost in the shuffle of daily life. But dating your spouse is not a luxury - it’s a necessity.

Connection doesn’t happen by accident

Life gets busy. Between jobs, errands, raising kids, and keeping the house from falling apart, many couples end up becoming more like business partners than lovers. But dating your spouse carves out space for connection on purpose. It’s a way of saying, “You still matter. Us still matters.”

It doesn’t need to be elaborate. A shared meal without screens. A walk around the neighbourhood. Even just sitting together in the evening with your favourite records playing. The important part is stepping outside of routine and stepping into each other’s company.

Plan small and intentional moments of connection, even in the busiest seasons.

A handwritten note tucked into his lunch, a quiet cup of tea together after the kids are asleep, or a quick midday phone call just to say, “I’m thinking of you”. These little gestures breathe life into a marriage. Romance doesn’t have to be grand to be meaningful, it just has to be sincere and consistent.

Makes him feel respected and cared for, just like wives often did in the 1950s.

Whether it’s greeting him at the door with a warm smile and a tidy home, cooking his favourite meal from scratch, or simply thanking him for how hard he works, these small acts of appreciation speak volumes. In the 1950s, many wives took pride in creating a peaceful, welcoming atmosphere - and that quiet strength and thoughtfulness still has the power to nurture deep romance today. When a husband feels honoured in his role, he often responds with even greater tenderness and love.

Don’t let your looks go

There’s something to be said for getting dressed up, even if it’s just for each other. Couples in the mid-20th century understood that. A date night might have meant a tie and lipstick, but it wasn’t about vanity. It was about showing up for one another, fully present and a little polished.

These days, comfort is king, and that’s not all bad. But making an effort every now and then says, “You’re worth the trouble.” And let’s be honest, don’t we all feel a little more alive with some shine on?

Rekindling curiosity in one another

When you’re dating, you ask questions. You notice small things. You laugh at each other’s stories. That sense of curiosity and discovery doesn’t have to end when the honeymoon phase does. Dating your spouse gives you a chance to keep learning each other, even years in.

People change. That’s not a threat to a marriage; it’s an opportunity to keep falling in love with new versions of each other.

Build a legacy worth preserving

There’s a reason so many of us are drawn to those vintage depictions of marriage. They remind us of a time when slowing down and savouring love was just part of life. We can take a page from that book without losing our modern sensibilities.

Dating your spouse is not about nostalgia for nostalgia’s sake. It’s about preserving what has always been essential: time, attention, affection, and joy.

So pull out the good dishes. Plan a picnic. Go dancing, even if it’s just in your living room. In a world that moves fast, choosing to linger with the one you love is quietly revolutionary - and deeply romantic.

Because at the end of the day, love isn’t maintained by default. It’s maintained by intention. And dating your spouse is one of the best ways to keep the spark not just alive, but growing.

Romance in marriage doesn’t have to fade with time, it simply needs tending. Even amidst the noise of modern life, the beauty of a quiet, steady love still shines bright. By embracing timeless values, showing daily care, and honouring one another’s roles with joy, you can build a marriage that not only lasts but blossoms. So don’t be afraid to bring a little old-fashioned warmth into your everyday lives.

Sometimes, the simplest gestures are the ones that keep love burning strong.

With love,