Coming back to Instagram - I am ready to return!

I have been sitting with this quietly for a while now. Three years ago, I stepped away from Instagram because it felt overwhelming to my spirit. Life there had become too hurried and performative, and I needed to return to a slower, more grounded way of living. I wanted my days to be lived in my home rather than for the camera, and I needed to rediscover what it meant to be present without documenting everything.

Those years away were tough in many ways, with an international move, and a lot of time to think about what I wanted my life to look like, but this time was also quite tender and healing too. A lot of growth and reflection happened while I tended my home, my marriage, my family, and my faith more intentionally. In the silence, I remembered that the smallest moments are often the most meaningful.

For a long time, as things really accelerated for The Darling Academy on social media and in the press, I also felt as though I was constantly having to justify the choice to live as a Trad Wife. Mostly, I now realise, to people who had no intention of ever understanding or accepting it. It seemed that every small decision - homemaking as a calling, my marriage dynamic, traditional gender roles, femininity, putting family first, and embracing traditional rhythms - was met with questioning, vitriolic comments, and harsh criticism.

The negative press and commentary didn’t just hover around the lifestyle; it landed on me personally, and for a while, I carried it alone. I chose it, of course, and would do so all over again in a heartbeat, but that heavy weight became exhausting, and I realised that stepping away for a little while was the only way to protect my joy, my home, and the quiet rhythm of my life. The Tradwife movement also went to places that I honestly questioned myself. Voices that felt like an undoing of everything I had tried to communicate over the years. I was tired. This lifestyle is not a costume, or a public spectacle for click-bait and followers, and it really started to anger me.

I’ve spent the last decade writing on this topic, and advocating for it in the media - alongside my job as a housewife - and a sabbatical is healthy for everyone from time to time.

Sometimes you just have to put down the heavy weight for a while, and just ‘be’.

I carried it alone. I chose this advocacy, of course, and would do so all over again in a heartbeat - but that heavy weight became exhausting. I realised that stepping away for a little while was the only way to protect my joy, my home, and the quiet rhythm of my life.

And somewhere in the midst of that quiet, I really felt that the Lord was teaching me a lesson, and making me braver. Stronger. He allowed me to feel pain, and heartbreak, and a lot of disappointment. He took me outside of my comfort zone, but it was all for good. Romans 8:28 in action…

I’ve been watching from outside the ring all this time and I am so so happy to see the Trad Wife life part of the modern lexicon now. So many women the world over now proudly saying “I LOVE THIS LIFE! I choose this instead”. It is understood a lot more, and fascinates a lot of observers too - we’re still not there in convincing a lot of our sisters that we aren’t slaves to men, but not everyone will grasp some concepts, will they?

Something else I’m proud of, is that I’ve also gotten a little longer in the tooth and am turning 40 next week! I am blessed to be stepping into the next chapter of my life. The dynamic of our family has reshaped itself as I no longer have a “little little”. Motherhood evolves, and I have more time on my hands now. The physical and hands-on labour of raising children has shifted to the emotional and moral guidance side of the pendulum. The juggle of it all has changed.

There is something rather wonderful too about reaching this age that has steeled my backbone, but also softened and clarified me in many ways. I care even less for noise or competition. I treasure my time and peace more fiercely, and I feel more rooted in who I am: a homemaker, a wife, an advocate, a writer, a believer, a lover of beauty in ordinary things.

These truths feel steady now. I no longer feel the need to prove or present them, I simply want to share them through imagery. Words will always be my primary way of communicating with the world, but I also have a love for capturing moments. My camera roll is full of thousands of pictures that are just sitting there - things I’d love to show women just like me, who appreciate the little things that make this life lovely.

Which brings me to Instagram.

Over the last few months, I’ve noticed a subtle longing to return - not for the endless scroll or the hustle of content, but for the community. So many of you have asked me about it over the years, and those little tugs on my heart to do so now feel stronger. In truth, I’ve missed you all. The kind ones, who shared conversation with me. Friends the world over who are also trying to create warm homes, love their families well, and seek beauty and holiness in a world that often disregards both. I missed the way we encouraged one another. I missed the little exchanges, the glimpses into others’ days, the shared sense of “we are not alone in this.”

And there is something else too: Instagram helped me notice blessings. Not in a curated or artificial way, but in the quiet act of paying attention. The gentle light through the kitchen window. The way bread dough rises under a tea towel. A pretty cake. A recommended book and a moment of rest. A candle flickering next to a vase of late roses. A bedroom set up for a much anticipated house guest.

When I took the time to share these moments, I was also teaching myself to see them.

I don’t want to lose that.

I am also working on a big project - something that is stretching me in new ways and inviting me to step forward again. If I am to return to Instagram, I want to do so slowly and intentionally. I want it to feel like a kitchen table conversation, not a performance.

So, I will return. But differently.

With gentler boundaries. With stronger roots. With a softer heart, but also guts.

• I won’t post every day. I will allow life to lead.

• I will not strive to impress, only to encourage.

• I will share beauty as I see it, not as I think it “should” appear.

• I will protect quiet and Sabbath and the sacredness of home.

• I will let Instagram be a tool, not a master.

I am returning not because I must, or because I feel pressured to, but because I feel ready. Older. More grounded. Most importantly grateful for the community of women who have walked with me for so many years.

If you decide to join me there again, I hope it will feel familiar: warm, thoughtful, slow, and full of grace. A place where we notice blessings together.

I’ve started afresh, and I hope to see you over there @thedarlingacademy

With love as always,