Once again, it has come to light that another (female) journalist, French this time, is intent on perpetuating the myth that traditional housewives are extremists.
I hate to shed light on the darker side of this journey, but for the past six months I have been relentlessly pursued by the world’s media to talk about traditional marriage and motherhood (a healthy lifestyle choice that has had little to no airtime in recent decades), and until now I have been quite happy to do so.
However, I think it’s incredibly important to share that I have now realised the true extent of the attack on housewives and the traditional family model - particularly if you happen to be a White European (but that’s a whole other issue).
In truth? It’s much worse than I originally believed it to be.
The media are threatened by traditional family values.
I’m sure dear housewife, that you already feel a certain level of judgement concerning your lifestyle choice on occasion. Perhaps not directly spoken to you, but certainly from a new cultural movement and modern media agenda which promotes the idea that work outside of the home is the only thing that makes you worthy as a 21st century woman. It all slyly suggests you lay aside the role of the traditional housewife in order to fit in, or indeed feel liberated!
Other traditional women who are speaking out about our invisibility in the media, experience constant belittlement, and get reduced to nothing more than racist wives under the control of our men. Just pretty puppets and mouthpieces of this imaginary ‘evil patriarchy’ the young women of today are brainwashed into fearing.
I’ve seen this blatant attack happen to men too, the hard working spouses of other prominent women in the Trad Wife movement are labelled as controlling abusers. This, is slanderous. What man in his right mind would ever think that in dutifully and nobly providing for his family, he would come under such attack and vilification?
Why suddenly treat him like this now, in 2020, when gentlemen for hundreds of years have provided for their wives and offspring. What changed in recent decades in particular? Was it, perhaps, more women writing the columns and screenplays? It does bear thinking…
Out of the many publications I have been quoted in, I’d wager that only around 10% have been written, or hosted by men. Is it the media that hates us, or women themselves?
Let it be clear that my intention with speaking to the press, and my work here with The Darling Academy has only ever been to support women who wish to stay home, not to indoctrinate women into this lifestyle. Simply to provide a place to belong, and exist in a space where being traditional isn’t viewed as being backwards or extreme, and above all to share with these women that they are not alone.
Meanwhile, out there in the wider online landscape, the media choose to write traditional housewives up in an unsavoury and almost ‘brainwashed’ light. Please, someone tell me what is wrong with wanting to raise your children yourself, have a clear division of labour with your husband, and engineer for yourself a lifestyle that means you can concentrate on the things that bring you and your family joy?
The article that rattled me so, is here. Written by young female journalist, Constance Vilanova, who went on to tweet (lie) that she “immersed herself” in the #TradWife movement, when really, her lazy journalism only went so far as to re-hash six month old articles, and quote an unknown student as her ‘expert’. It’s also worth noting that the url for this article has a ‘666’ string.
Do bear in mind that this is one example among a sea of many, but as this is the latest we’ll highlight it.
Only an extremist can love their husband, children, and home.
Journalists themselves claim to be seekers of truth, when the only truth they know is how to write up an article to align with a specific agenda. One which seeks to perpetuate hatred towards anything traditional, or wholesome, and indeed expose the fact that though these ladies claim to be feminists fighting for women’s freedom - they are in fact, fast shutting down and ‘cancelling’ other women’s choices to be housewives. By labelling it as extreme.
Not just my choice I might add, but for any young woman looking to find her way in the world, even a shred of hope to be a housewife will be washed away with a tidal wave of cultural hatred and public opinion.
You can see for yourself below the questions that were asked of me, ones which were sold to me as being there to “help dispel” the rumours of traditional housewives being associated with the alt-right.
How “immersed” in something can you really be, when you refuse to acknowledge the true voice of your subject?
How did you come up with the idea of creating The Darling Academy?
I had been searching my whole life for references that could teach me how to be a good homemaker, how to take care of my family and value my identity as a wife and mother (above a career outside the home), and just couldn’t find anything. In recent decades the media has only supported the ambitions of women who wish to work outside of the home, and it teaches that the work we do at home is boring/stressful and not worth our time. In 2012 we started a family, and in my new role I found that there were many women who feel like they aren’t supported as wives and mothers, and so I decided to build a community of likeminded women. We share ideas and inspiration for homemaking and being a wife and mother - I have now written two books, continue to write articles on homemaking and marriage, and The Darling Academy was born!
Why do you think we need to talk about being traditional housewives now?
Many women are realising that being at home is actually quite fulfilling, and lots of them have ‘accidentally’ discovered this because of Covid-19. We all love that “Christmas” or “hygge” feeling of being at home with family enjoying the little things in life – so why can’t we find a way to embrace that feeling of contentment every day? I think it’s more important than ever, in a world full of technology and life being so fast-paced that we remind ourselves there is no place like home – then learn how to take care of it and the people in it a little better.
Why do you think the imagery of the housewife is making a comeback?
I think women are realising that it is very difficult to juggle two jobs (working outside the home, and motherhood/housework). Also the satisfaction of a ‘career’ isn’t quite as rewarding as they thought. We desperately need a return to family values, and for the media to support the role of the Mother/Wife better and celebrate her for what she does. The husband too! Too much focus has been given to the ambitions of career-driven individuals, but happiness cannot be found in job-titles and money. It is found at home, with family – however that looks!
Do you think being a Trad Wife is compatible with feminism?
I believe “feminism” is a woman’s right to make her own choices for her life – and that feminism shouldn’t have to despise or reject ‘the feminine’ in order to realise its goals. Being a traditional housewife, and celebrating the beauty and gift of being a woman, is a valid choice too. It confuses me that anyone would think that being a traditional housewife is ‘anti-feminist’. However, if modern feminism actually means a woman can’t be a housewife or celebrate what makes her beautiful and different from men, then I want no part of it – it would have become the very thing it is fighting against (the oppression of women’s choices).
What do you say to those that think there is a link between the extreme right and the movement of tradwife?
Traditional Housewives have been a part of culture for centuries, inextricably linked to and at the heartbeat of every religion, race, and nation. To claim is belongs to one specific ideology shows that you haven’t done your research and have an agenda against housewives. I am part of a community of women who are from a vast array of ethnicities, cultures, and faith beliefs - and we all have a good laugh at this nonsense. It isn’t racist or overtly conservative to be want to be a good housewife and mother, it’s just common sense!
Exposing the media
I shall continue to add to these examples as time marches on. We may be traditional housewives, but despite what you may think, we’re as feisty as you!
So long as you, the mainstream media, continue to try and cancel traditionalism, and the at-home role of the wife and mother - you’ll see me in the opposite corner ready to fight for it.